CHUCK NORRIS puts the "Slaughter" in "Manslaughter".
If CHUCK NORRIS is late, time better slow the f**k down.
At birth, CHUCK NORRIS came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers CHUCK NORRIS but CHUCK NORRIS.
If you see CHUCK NORRIS crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. That same day CHUCK NORRIS got an award for masturbating in public.
CHUCK NORRIS is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
CHUCK NORRIS clogs the toilet even when he p***es.
CHUCK NORRIS never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the f**k off.
CHUCK NORRIS ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you."
Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWCND?"
In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be CHUCK NORRIS.
CHUCK NORRIS always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, CHUCK NORRIS jumps out.
CHUCK NORRIS' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Jeeves asks CHUCK NORRIS.
CHUCK NORRIS can touch MC Hammer.
CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.
